I grew up in the small agricultural town of Albany Oregon. I spent a lot of time constructing increasingly elaborate antennas out scrap wires attempting to get a clear signal from the Portland radio station that played Dr. Demento. When I was around 14 or 15 years old I discovered the writing of Dave Barry and my fate was sealed. I’ve been arranging words into amusing combinations ever since.

A few years after graduating high school I left Oregon and drifted around the country for a time. I got married and got a dog. I got divorced and kept the dog. In 2006 I moved to Scottsdale Arizona for a job that soon evaporated, as things are wont to do in the desert. I went back to school, struggled for about a decade, got remarried, and eventually stumbled into a career as a web developer.

After living in the Phoenix area all that time it became clear the city wouldn’t be habitable much longer, so we saved our pennies and took on more debt to move to the East coast.

Now I spend my days wrestling with existential dread while working remotely, and my evenings wrestling with existential dread while trying to create things.

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E.R. Ellsworth
Writer, satirist, probably not a shill for the Illuminati.