What the song 'Anarchy Burger' is really trying to tell us

In their debut album “Peace thru Vandalism” the punk band The Vandals critiqued the American power structure in the song “Anarchy Burger”, saying:

“America stands for freedom

but if you think you're free

try walking into a deli

and urinating on the cheese

anarchy burger

hold the government”

Indeed, in American you can’t just go around pissing on other people’s brie without facing some consequences. So then Anarchy Burger supposes the possibility of maximally free world, in which scatelogical miscreants could act with impunity.

What then of the freedom of the deli owner to defend their cheddar with a shotgun behind the counter? If the consequences of pissing on the cheese are a face full of buckshot, that’s much more serious than any consequences you’d face in the real world for the same action. So how then, is this hypothetical world more free than our own?

I have to conclude that what the song really means is that a truly free world is one where everyone owns everything or no one owns anything. The residents of this world might be free to use a lunch counter as a urinal, but they wouldn’t want to because they own the lunch counter as much as anyone else.

And that is how I, a radical leftist, resolve my political leanings with my enjoyment of this song.

Thank you for coming to my Ed Talk.